You stay in that apron until my veggie burger is done! 

 

You stay in that apron until my veggie burger is done!

Our favorite new friend over at Amazing Women Rock posted this story that comes to us all the way from a land far, far away … also known as 1954. These were guidelines for women on how to be a good wife. Ba!

Now that it’s a new century and women are gaining control of the universe (bwahaha), I, Lionellea Litterbox conjured up these very important rules *whips out a golden-clad scroll* for how to be a good man-beast when your woman comes home from a long day at work. 

Rule No. 1. Have a veggie burger ready for me when I get home. Also some fries … and onion rings. And feed the onion rings to me. Place the rings gently in my mouth. I also want an ice cream sandwich. Yeah, ice cream sandwich. And a few Otter Pops and a macaroni salad. While we’re at it, also have a bowl packed and ready for when I get home.

Rule No. 2. Prepare yourself. Lionella and other kitties can be frisky creatures when dawn sets upon the earth, so we need to pounce on you, pronto.

Rule No. 3. Get rid of the children. None of the 4 girls on this 1 blog actually have kids of their own. But it’s best to remove all persons under the age of 18 for my arrival home. That reminds me, also have a vodka tonic and a 1970s porn ready to go.

Rule No. 4. Turn up the noise. Honestly, have some Beatles or Brandi Carlisle thumping through the house. I demand a dance party to break out upon the instant I enter the house.

Rule No. 5. A good man-beast always knows his place. Under the table. Now get down and bon appetit!